For Tonight, We Are Not Who We Are
by Verana Cyrestia
Summary: "Do you, Lucy Heartfilia, take Natsu Dragneel as your husband?" "I do." "Do you, Gray Fullbuster, take Juvia Loxar as your wife?" "I do." With bitter smiles, they faced the world, eternally bound to another. With the courage I have left in my heart, I opened my eyes to gaze at the suddenly meaningless life of mine. Being King and Queen have their price, and heart is one of them.


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_**For tonight, We Are Not who We Are.**_

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail is not mine, Hiro Mashima owns it.**_

_**~Description~:**_

_**{Summary: **__I realized, that we were meant to break, but I also knew..., __that I can't stop myself to love you. __"Do you, Lucy Heartfilia, take Natsu Dragneel as your husband?" __"I do.". __"Do you, Gray Fullbuster, take Juvia Loxar as your wife?" __"I do.". __And that was when I knew that my love for you can no longer be freely given, but I also knew that my heart would never stop loving you._

**_{Pairings: Gray/Lucy, heavy one-sided Natsu/Lucy_**

_**{Genres:Hurt/Comfort, Drama, Romance**_

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**_~Author's corner~:_**

Hello everyone! This is my new story that was in the 1900 era, so it's going to be full with dresses and stuff like those. I was thinking about making a one-shot and sort, but when I wrote the story down, everything seemed to flow and ended to be a multi-chapter story so... you know.

Oh! for those who's wondering about my other story 'I Will Always Love You', it's going to be updated in a few days, so don't worry!

I really really do hope you like these story, I had this for a while now and decide to publish it. Thank you all! :D

Ooh! Thank you so much to my beta '_Mariya567' _for beta-reading this story! thank you so much for your help!

So... Lets start with the story!

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_I realized, that we were meant to break, but I also knew...,_

_that I can't stop myself to love you._

_"Do you, Lucy Heartfilia, take Natsu Dragneel as your husband?"_

_"I do."_

_"Do you, Gray Fullbuster, take Juvia Loxar as your wife?"_

_"I do."_

_And that was when I knew that my love for you can no longer be freely given, but I also knew that my heart would never stop loving you._

_With bitter smiles, they faced the world, eternally bound to another. And never, until death would they part._

_Tears of pain streaked her fair face, as she shut her eyes trying to hold herself together. Her tears easily misunderstood as proof of happiness, because of the reunion with the King._

_How wrong they were._

_His eyes, eyes that were already dead, closed to help him endure the stabbing feeling of regret inside. Taking a final glance at the happy smile and eyes full of triumphant glee that adorned her pale face, the new Queen didn't seem to notice._

_With the courage I have left in my heart, I opened my eyes to gaze at the suddenly meaningless life of mine._

It had been a week since the wedding, and she still couldn't seem love him. She had tried; really she had, but why couldn't she? She knew the answer all too well. It was because he was not the man she held dear and loved in her heart, and knowing that he would never hold her again, so she could feel whole, she felt a part of her die inside.

Now, all she could do was sit there, looking at the dark night sky, and try to bury the feeling of longing and pain hoping that it would never surface again.

_'This has been the cruellest day of my life, and it's getting harder to endure everyday.._

_Someone... Please help me.'_

A beautiful queen with elegance and looks that rivaled by none and a broken heart sat on the lounge chair that laid parallel in front the wall-length wide window of her bedroom. She hugged her knees to her tightly, with a prayer to whatever was out there to give her the strength to suppress her emotions.

The room was dreadfully silent, and dark as night itself. Cool still air lingered, with the autumn season about to end; the air was slightly cold, preparing for the winter. The only light that illuminated the room was the moonlight that shone through the barely there window. Her world was dark, cold, and silent... but then again, she liked it like that.

Her brown eyes stared at the vast black night sky that seemed to blend with her room's darkness, with the stars and moon in their luminous glory, shining down on her goddess-like complexion with its silver light.

"We're the same, aren't we? We're both all alone while ruling in our empire." The ever steady silence broke, as the Queen whispered while holding back tears that were starting to brim in the corner of her eyes. She hugged her knees harder and buried her head deeper, as her body began to slightly tremble.

She took one shaky breath and tried to calm down, continuing her stargazing, losing herself in her own dying world.

Unknown to Lucy, her newly wedded husband, Natsu Dragneel, watched her, while leaning on her slightly ajar chamber doors. A little light coming from outside the door shone dimly at Natsu's handsome features. It all looked so perfect, except for the sad smile on his face and the wry hesitation that showed in his eyes.

He was used to the swooning and compliments that women showered him with daily. Before and post his wedding. He was, after all, the most wanted bachelor in this country. Granted, he was the crown prince from one of the wealthiest countries, but still, Lucy didn't look at him like other women did.

No, she didn't want money, riches, power, title or any of those things. So then why did she agree to the marriage?

She agreed because her marriage embodies the duties and responsibilities of her nation.

The blonde beauty sighed in desperation while her hands pressed her temple lightly, with another shaky breath; she stood up slowly and headed to her bedside table, still oblivious to the king's watchful eyes.

She opened the drawer slowly, and took out a long gleaming silver necklace; the pendant was a beautiful intricate Celtic symbol that slightly resembled a rose, made out of the finest platinum. Observing it with such intensity, memories danced in her mind.

_"You see this? This necklace represents my love for you." with soft eyes, he faced me._

_"Do you know what this necklace means?" with gentleness in his voice, he whispers near my ear._

_"This means 'Eternal Love'" he stated with loving voice, hugging me from behind._

_"Keep this will you? This pendant is the only one of its kind, and I want you to have it." and a smile grazed his face._

Ending her flashing bittersweet vision, she decided to wear the necklace, so as to keep the giver close to her heart. With another sad sigh, she sat herself down on her lounge chaise again.

Leaning down, she told herself that this what she was meant to be.

_'This is what I was born to be, to put my errands, my duties as Queen, before the willfulness of myself.'_

Who was she to abandon her duties as the highest ranking noblewoman in the country, next to her own mother? Her parents already raised her with love, fortune, responsibility and hope that she would be an asset to her country. Now she wanted to make them proud. And though she wanted to make them proud, the very thing they were asking her, seemed to be the one thing that hurt her most to do. They asked her to marry for the benefit of their kingdom. But why couldn't she be happy about it? The answer was one that seemed silly at first.

She didn't love the man that she was to marry, because she loved another man, he was someone who she wanted to spend her life with.

She loved her lover more than anything, and she knew he love her endlessly too. Yet both of them had responsibilities to carry out, and she had to choose between her duty and her heart. She already lost count on how many times she almost decided to toss away her title and run to her lover's warm embrace, but managed to somehow resist the urge.

Trying desperately to hold on her choice, she controlled herself. She then stood with her head raised high and determined eyes, facing her parents and told them her decision. She convinced herself that she was choosing to do the right thing.

Once she had announced her intention however, reality hit and she realized that her ending wasn't to be like those in the fairy tales she cherished so much. Lucy absentmindedly thought to herself that she had been right about being the only princess denied her fairytale ending as she caressed her necklace.

And now, the man she had bound herself too was looking at her still unmoving figure from behind.

"I'm sorry..." the man whispered, his voice barely audible. He felt guilty that for Lucy to marry him would change her into a shell of her former self. Natsu hadn't married her for nothing, he too, loved her, but seeing her so broken like this, made him question the validity of his decision.

He walked towards her and placed an elegant looking envelope on the small table beside her lounge chair. Lucy didn't notice him until Natsu gently touched her bare shoulder uncovered by her long white night dress. Her waist-length silky golden blond hair gently whipped to the side as she faced Natsu, startled.

Her eyes widened for a moment, and then turned into a pained smile. She felt guilty knowing he was hoping she might give him her heart, but she already knew that it was impossible. She couldn't love any other man in her life.

"Your Highness... What brings you here?" she smiled agai, properly getting a hold of herself, and forced herself to sit as befitted a Queen and met his steady gaze.

"Lucy..." Natsu said slowly, noticing the now stoic face that looked at him. Snapping out of his reverie, he decided to get straight to the point.

"Well... Listen, there is going to be a royal ball for all the Kings and Queens from all around the world. Do you want to attend it? It's all right if you do not feel up to it." he asked softly at the end. Lucy knew that she would have to attend. Whether she wanted it or not, she was now the Queen of Fiore. She also knew that Natsu was only asking her to be polite and because he preferred to have her willing agreement.

"Certainly, Your Highness. I shall attend. Isn't that what I'm here for?" Lucy asked formally, now faking a plain smile, but her eyes remained lifeless. He saw through it of course. If he wasn't able to tell the true feelings his Queen harboured, what kind of King would that make him?

_'She hasn't treated me as her husband even once since we were married.'_ Natsu thought to himself ruefully. Now it was his turn to fake a happy grin. Though the road ahead was tough, he resolved to keep trying. He loved her that much.

"Wonderful! Well then, good night Lucy!" he smiled genuinely at her, and walked out the door. Just before he closed the door behind him, he heard her whisper softly.

"Thank you... Natsu." she mumbled, and Natsu closed the door with a small smile. _'Maybe, just maybe, she is starting to allow me to enter her heart, as her... Friend._

_I love you, Lucy.'_

Even if it was slow in progress, he was glad. And even though deep inside he knew she would keep loving him, he decided to stay by her side, and hopefully, he would be able to win her trust.

With a smile grazing his face, Natsu retrieved to his study room down stairs, continuing his paper works; besides, being optimistic and keep on trying is his thing.

Lucy still sitting at her lounge couch, she smiled a little. His behavior hadn't changed. He was as nice and caring as ever and while she appreciated it, Lucy just couldn't love him like that. Trying to avoid the guilt that washed over her once again, she decided to distract herself.

A subtle polite knock was suddenly heard, coming from the opposite side of her door, breaking the clear silence that permeated the room.

With a soft 'yes', the door was opened and her guest walked inside. The petite figure bowed and walked towards the queen with her heels clicking against the cream granite floor.

"Levy... What brings you here?" acknowledged the queen in a hushed tone. The young woman that Lucy referred to as Levy smiled a ghostly smile that lasted for mere seconds.

With eyes cast low, she sat beside Lucy who sat herself up from her laying down position. She locked eyes with her visitor and it was that one moment that was enough for Levy to read the inner turmoil in Lucy's heart. At that moment, Levy was reminded of the tragic novels that Lucy read, she resembled the heroines a tad too much for Levy's liking.

A low bitter chuckle sounded from the petite girl.

"Is it so wrong for this humble assistant of yours to check on her supposed 'Master'?" asked Levy with a soft smile, her big dark onyx eyes stared at her friend's moon-bathed blank face from the side.

"No... Pardon me for asking. I just thought that maybe you..." Lucy trailed off her apologies, head tilted to look at her blue-haired kingdom adviser and assistant. She escaped from Levy's poorly hidden look of concern by returning to her admiration of the ever so still majestic moon.

"You know, you will eventually disappear from the citizen's memories if you lock yourself up in your chamber." joked Levy with a dejected giggle. A humorless chuckle was heard, and they fell back into silence.

"What am I going to do?" she questioned, more to herself then the girl who sat beside her. After a short pause, Levy stood up, and slowly, she walked towards Lucy's make up table. Taking out a platinum hair brush, she returned and circled the lounge chair, so she was behind Lucy. Levy began to run the brush gently through her golden tresses. With both parties too jumbled in their thoughts searching for a solution to her question, the deafening stillness continued, with a tired and sad sigh following not too long after it.

"Truly... I don't know how to help you. We all have responsibilities and duties to follow, and yet, we still have a heart to listen to as well. We, as the leader of our country, have to make sacrifices for our people. As you know, we also have to make choices. Lucy, I can't help you with this problem, this is not something I can figure out for you. You made your decision, and now you have to bear it. But remember this; I will always be by your side. I'm sorry, but this time, I can't work my magic." As she finished her softly spoken answer to Lucy's dilemma, Lucy's hair was plaited becomingly in a French - braid.

Levy looked at the queen's demeanor, and just as what she expected, the finality of her decision had taken its toll.

Lucy knew, she always had, it was just hard to admit. Everything Levy said was true, and she couldn't deny it. She made her choices and now she had to live with it.

The queen stayed silent after her companion's statement, nor did Levy try to stay anything, knowing Lucy was finally coming to terms with her situation. It was hard to see her best friend like this, but just like she said earlier, she couldn't meddle here, so the silence reigned again.

"Thank you, Levy." with a soft small smile, Lucy said, breaking out of her thoughts. The blue-haired petite woman hugged the woman who she didn't deem as her queen right now, but as a a young girl with a broken heart, desperately trying to control herself.

The hug ended quickly, as it was time for Levy to return to her errands and duties. Leaving the queen behind, she walked into the dimly lit hall and disappeared into the darkness of the shadows that were cast by the silver moon.

Replaying the recent conversation, the now once again lonely queen closed her eyes, succumbing the blankness she felt. With a last large intake of breathe she laid down, without breaking eye contact with the glorious moon.

She stargazed for a few more hours, until she decided to go to bed. She was unusually more tired as a result of her ongoing mental stress. So she slept, trying to forget the pain. She forgot the ball, her husband, Levy and even her country. She just thought of her lost love, and succumbed to her pain, just like all of her other days.

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**So? Do you like the story? Please tell if there's a mistake or anything! ooh! tell me what you think!**

**Please Review as it was one of Author's reason to write. Feel free to tell me anything! :D**

**Please look at my other stories: I Will Always Love You and Without You.**

**Thanks for all who've read this! I really appreciate it! ;)**


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